I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
