Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
