i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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