the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
