You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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