Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
