It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
