Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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