I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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