somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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