I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
