okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
