lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
