You made me cry and you don't even care
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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