one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize