Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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