In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
