She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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