He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
