yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
