but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize