you're like a bully in the Christmas story
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
