all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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