I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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