Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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