looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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