Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
