How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
