Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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