How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
