I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
