Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
