Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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