I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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