I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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