I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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