you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
