I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
