i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
