The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize