I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
