This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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