Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize