Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
