Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize