I think i peed on brittanys purse
he puts the penis in happiness.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
