She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
