My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
