that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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