so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
did i just pee glitter
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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