i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
