i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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