And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
