I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
