Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
