I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
