no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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