god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
