On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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