it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
